| Attempting to get drunk is an annoying thing.
A high tolerance is good and well when in the company of less than trustworthy people, or simply humans. But when I want nothing more than to fade away, disappear, for just a time, it is near impossible and more than frustrating. An eighth or maybe a tenth of a bottle of SoCo and I feel nearly nothing, there is about the same amount of rum in the freezer, and if that will get me to the wished for state of oblivion, perhaps I can prolong it with the Corona I have. Unlikely as that is, I still hope. The beginning of classes looms before me, but I long for it despite the heavy work load I have before me. Classes and work shall hopefully occupy my mind, not allowing for stray thoughts that haunt me and only the oblivion of sleep gives me the truth of my hope for a silent mind. Even then I awake with fading memories of things that my mind simply is unable to let go, and pieces of possible futures that my mind once told true. I once earned for the memories of my dreams, knowing something, or things, important were cased with in my mind, that only a child had ever seen for their truth. Now though I am mollified that I know that I do indeed dream, but I just as soon not know what capers about in my shaded mind. I have memories of dreams, or hopes, now, but still I can not retell them, can not bring them to the light of day. Locked in the night they are, and perhaps they should remain there, but I fear, and yet hope, that some day the shrouds that my young mind unthinkingly and instinctively raised about the fragile mind of a novice.
Damn but my mind wanders, and I think it is time for another drink.
Southern Comfort is a grand thing, and after so many years, I can again drink Bacardi with out the twinge of nausea that some others I won’t name feel towards those certain alcohols that they, at one point or another, got so sick on. So slowly I move through the liquors I have in my holding currently, I wish for a Scotch, but it seems I will have to wait, and I am a patient person.
My patients, I think, gets me into too much trouble at times, but then again there are times that it keeps me partially sane. Partially I say for I think there is too great a chance that myself and most if not all of my companions are in one way or another slightly off the scale of full sanity. I will admit that my mind is now slightly touched by the lovely amber liquid I have ingested so fare, but it allows my mind to move more freely. Which brings to mind an amusing thought; drunken finals are the best, and I tend to make top grades when I am less than sober. By aggie tradition; twice a mistake, three times a tradition: so one more time and it will officially be a tradition for myself.
Werewolf, or Vampire?
I love randomness so much. I have many friends who would choose the craving for blood rather than the craving for simple flesh. Myself though, I have ever been called by the moon, and the idea of Werewolves has ever lingered lightly on my mind, a caress as soft as the light of the moon. For notice, I am currently watching Underworld, of which I can not wait for the sequel. Perhaps it is the earthen quality of the Were’s that is so strong in my soul. Wile I am very drawn to the sea, I will ever love the land I was born too, and some day I will find a union for myself that I might have the two together. Vampires I think are more Aerial I think, I’m not sure why that comes to mind, I blame it upon my sister Laurey, she portrays a beautiful image of Ethereal Vampires for me personally. I am not of the air though, that is for truth, to flightly and too analytical for my own standing. So of the two, Earth and Air, I am more kin to earth. In Underworld I find the only transformation between human and were that I like; a complete recomposition of the body, bones reconfiguring to form a new more powerful body in which a still coherent soul dwells, and yet is changed by the instinct it follows rather than the more involved thought processes of humans. Reminds me of Wrath.
It has only been once that my Wrath has been awakened in the past 3 or 4 years, and before that it was a beast slumbering in my soul that was content in its sleeping state. In the throws of that emotion, so strong and true, for a moment I was free. But that is another post I put in here years ago, so we will not reiterate that which I already put in words and ink.
So a Werewolf I would be, or simply the Elemental I have held in my soul all my years.
My skin is on the side of numbness, bespeaking the amount of alcohol I have already ingested. Despite my glasses, it is harder to focus on the two screens before me, that belays the amount of alcohol in me and the incapacity to concentrate that I longed for. Switching between Were vs. Vamp to Human vs. Dragon, it should be interesting to see where this movie leads my thoughts. And so a new thought pattern begins.
With the coming of the hurricanes that devastated the Gulf coast, as well as the horrid weather that has deprived us of the rain we need to quench the fire that has begun to devour so much of our land here in the south, people have talked of ‘Devine retribution.’ Perhaps, perhaps not, whose to say why things happen, all I hold true in my soul is ‘Things happen the way they happen because that is the way they are supposed to happen.’ Perhaps the earth is attempting to rid itself of the parasites who call themselves humans, perhaps we are slowly approaching the end of our existence, who knows.
Thoughts of the end of civilization as we know it were planted by a friend and they have grown readily in my mind. Today I bought books on gardening, books that teach how and when to plant. How to harvest seeds and save them for the next season. The planting I knew, the preparation I knew, it was the harvesting of the seeds and the medicinal values of each plant I was lacking. Slowly though I collect books that will aide me in any and all situations. As of now though, it will pass as a hobby and a hope.
Jeez I am random though *shrugs* but such is the way my mind works. |
